Beware! The Blob (1972)

Beware! The Blob
Directed by Larry Hagman
Written by Jack Woods and Anthony Harris from a story by Richard Clair and Jack H. Harris
1972/US
IMDb page
First viewing/Criterion Channel

Edward Fazio: It’s gonna be a better world without this thing.

I went in search of bad movie gold and was disappointed in my quest.  As in, it is a bad movie but certainly not an amusing one.

A sample of the original blob (The Blob (1958)) is taken out of its burial site in the Arctic and shipped to small town USA for testing.  During cold storage, the blob apparently turned blood red from its original green.  The sample is entrusted to buffoon lab technician Godfrey Cambridge.  He goes and drinks beer while his wife plays with her new kitten and forgets to put the sample in the freezer. (This sequence took me back to the days of Stepinfetchit and was pretty infuriating.)  The blob grows as it devours the home’s animal and human occupants.

Teenagers Robert Walker Jr. (looking so much like his dad) and Gwynne Gilford try to spread the word about the approaching peril but no one will listen.  Finally the blob takes over a bowling alley, after which it conveniently moves to the local ice rink.

OK, this blob killed dozens of people in 1958 and had to be flown to the Arctic.  And nobody seems to be in charge of a sample?!  Many, many stupid decisions combine to make this movie.  And when the monster action isn’t happening we get stuff like a guy in a gorilla suit and bad comic relief.  I had exactly one laugh.  This was a waste of my time. Avoid the movie that JR shot.